Thursday, June 29, 2017

Driving With A Three Year Old

Has anyone been in the car lately, for any length of time, with a three year old?

You see, I'm in the car with my precious, adorable three year old for a minimum of 52 minutes per day (to and from Clara's school, x2). The minimum is 52 minutes. Two days per week the minimum total creeps up to 82 minutes due to the addition of Clara's speech therapy before school. This total, whether 52 minutes or 82 minutes, doesn't include any additional driving to run errands, play at the park, attend a play-date, etc.

So if 52-82 minutes of your daily life is not spend with a three year old in the confines of a vehicle, let me break it down for you.

She picked out this outfit above, for the record. Leggings at the end of June in Houston. 

Example 1. . . 

Toddler - Mommy?! Where are we going today?

Me - We're taking Clara to speech, then school, then picking up your friend for a play-date.

Toddler - Ok! YAAAAY! Clara, We're going to pick up my friend NOOOOOOOWWWW!!!

Me - No, sweetie. First speech, then school, then friend.

Toddler- OK! Are we are our way to pick up my friend yet? I'm so excited! My friend can come to Clara's school!!

Me - Silence for a moment.

Repeat 538x.

Example 2 . . . 

Toddler - Mommy??!! I need my water.

Me - Ok, sweetie, I can't turn around while I'm driving. I'll get it at the stoplight.

Toddler - 10 seconds later - Mommy can you get my water now??

Me - Sweetheart, are we at the stoplight yet? I can't turn around while I'm driving.

Toddler - You can reach it! Just bring your arm back a little bit. Mommy, we have to do our best!

Me - I appreciate your confidence, but I still can't reach your water bottle. I will get it at the next stoplight.

Toddler - Can you just stop the car for my water bottle?

Me - Silence for a moment.

Repeat 538x.

Example 3. . . 

Toddler - Mommy!!?? Is this the highway???

Me - Yes, we're on the highway.

Toddler - 2 seconds later - Mommy??! Is this the highway??

Me - Yes, we're still on the highway.

Toddler - 5 seconds later - Mommy!?? Are we still on the highway?

Me - Does the road look the same since you last asked? Yes. Still on the highway.

Toddler - 7 seconds later - Mommy!?? What's a highway????

Me - Silence for a moment.

Repeat 538x.

Example 4 . . . 

Toddler - Mommy!?? Can you take the dress off my doll please??!

Me - Sweetie, I can't do that while I'm driving the car. I need to look at the road to keep us safe.

Toddler - Mommy?! Can you take the dress off my doll now please??!

Me - Sweetie, I can't do that while I'm driving the car. I need to look at the road to keep us safe. I can fix it when I stop the car.

Toddler - Mommy?! Can I have my pretzels please?!

Toddler - No, no, maybe a pouch! Can I have my applesauce pouch please?!

Toddler - OHHH I have A GOOD IDEEEEA! How about FRENCH FRIES??!!

Me - Sweetie, I only bring one snack. The car is not a buffet line. (As I hand back her pretzels)

Toddler - No thanks. I have a REALLY GOOD IDEEEEA, MOMMY!! How about CINNAMON TOAST??!

Me - Sweetie, all I have is pretzels. One snack for the car. Would you like your pretzels?

Toddler - My dolly doesn't need her dress anymore, can you take it off after you get me my french fries??!

Me - Silence for a moment. Pray that Jesus will take the wheel.

Repeat 538x.

And on the very rare occasion, said child decides to take a nap. When that happens, I glance back and sit in awe of her cuteness and immediately forget the past hour of car conversation. :)


  1. Ha ha ha I love this! I mean, I don't love it for you, but it is highly entertaining. We are not in the car much but I have experienced all of these. Even though Brian is usually driving and I am technically available to help with some of the twins' requests, they still drive me nuts... they must think I have Inspector Gadget arms to be able to reach some of the things they drop and desperately need! Oh, children...

  2. This is so funny! I am not driving as much either, but yes... the three year old convos are quite hilarious. And repetitive. 🙃


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