Loving: My two cuffs from Farm Girl Paints. Brandon got me the cuff "Choose Joy" for my birthday last year (after a season of feeling overwhelmed with Clara's needs), and I ordered the "It is well with my soul" a month or so after Chance's funeral. Love that I can glance down at any moment and be reminded of these truths. If you are in search of a gift, I highly recommend checking out her shop (although it only opens a few times a year, next opening is in September). I also follow her blog & her account on Instagram. I always feel so inspired after reading her posts.
Reading: Anything by Jennie Allen and Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker. Loving both so far, although I am especially challenged by Anything (currently on week 7). If you are looking for a book to shake up and wake up your faith I would encourage you to read this book. I posted my Anything story here.
Watching: I am not watching too much tv right now, so does watching videos of the girls on my phone/computer count? I love re-watching videos from all their different ages/stages. I watch some from their younger days and I think "Goodness they were sooooo tiny!" Absolutely love it.
Listening to: The new (to me) group I Am They. The girls and I blast a few of their songs every night while we wait for Brandon to get home. Camille especially loves dancing to this one. . .
Thinking about: Chance's due date that is nearing faster than I would like. In full disclosure, I would really love to just sail right over the month of August and slip into September so I would not have to deal with the emotions that might come on August 15. I am finding myself irritable, on edge, and somewhat anxious in the day to day, and I know this is in direct relation to this new reality of mine and the inability to escape the day. Someone mentioned that facing his due date brings about new emotions that I have not yet had to face in my grief journey. Truth. That said, there are a few things I would like to do on this day with Brandon and the girls, to honor Chance and to shed some happiness and healing (both for us and others). And the idea of doing these things does bring me excitement and joy, so that is what I am focusing on for now.
Looking forward to: A little family vacation we have planned in the near future. We found a perfect three bedroom house in South Padre (it has a pool too!), and are so excited to take the girls to the beach and just explore and getaway for a few days. Here's to lots of relaxing (well. . . as much relaxing as you can actually do with two kids on a vacation), reading by the pool, and lazy coffee sipping mornings.
Making me happy: These two curly headed girls & all the memories we are making this summer. I truly feel so blessed to be their mommy.
I love those cuffs! And I have never heard of I Am They but that song is catchy so I'll have to check them out. Continuing to pray for you as August draws nearer - like I said the other day, I'd happily slip into a temporary coma with you if I could, though I think you'll be happier spending his due date with Brandon and the girls celebrating Chance than you would be hanging out asleep in a hospital with me :)
ReplyDeleteI'm praying that August flies by for you but also that you're able to honor Chance in a way that only his mommy can! I'll have to check out that song as well- thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI love the 'it is well' cuff!!! So beautiful! I am praying for yall as Chance's due date approaches. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. :(
ReplyDeleteI love your bracelets. Both so perfect! I can only imagine how hard these weeks ahead are going to be such a mix of joy & heartache. Know you are loved & being prayed for. Thank you for being so honest & raw & sharing your ups and downs. Love you friend.
ReplyDeleteI just happened upon your blog and had to comment. I lost my little boy when I was 17 weeks. His due date and the anniversary were two of the hardest things (besides losing him) I've had to deal with. I kept telling friends I wanted to go to sleep for a week and wake up when it was over. Give yourself lots of grace and be okay with being sad, because it IS sad. Praying for you during this time.
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