Monday, April 13, 2015

Our son, Chance Michael

Our sweet baby boy, Chance Michael, was born at 4:49pm on April 4, 2015. Seeing his face for the first time is a moment I will never forget. A moment that will be etched in my mind forever. It is a very surreal feeling to give birth to, and then hold and embrace, your child who has already passed on from this earth. A feeling in fact I assumed I would never have to live through. One of those life experiences one just assumes "won't ever be me." But God apparently had a different plan for our family and our journey. I am trying so very hard to be ok with this plan.

As I stared at Chance's sweet face for several hours after his birth, every emotion possible was experienced . . . sorrow, pain, happiness, peace, love, joy, hurt, confusion, more love, more sadness, and so much more. Yet despite these ever changing feelings, I am so very thankful we were able to spend five hours with our son. Five hours was spent studying his adorable face, kissing his little head, and talking to him. . . telling him about our family and how we know he is safe with Jesus and that we will surely see him again very soon.

This picture captures so well all of the emotions described above. One can so clearly see the hurt, peace, sadness, and contentment displayed in our eyes. 

So blessed & thankful that the nurses were able to capture these prints.
Some of the cutest little feet and toes I have ever seen. 

In time I hope to write and share more about his birth, his beautiful celebration service, and our life and feelings now, as we adjust to life after infant loss. Thank you so much for the continual support, emails, texts, FB messages, love, hugs, food delivered, and most of all, prayers. Please continue to lift us up in prayer. We feel every single one. Beyond thankful to each and every one of you.

11 comments

  1. Brittnie, this brought tears to my eyes. You are so strong. Praying for you!!

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  2. I agree with Brittany - you are so strong! I am thankful that you were able to hold him in your arms and love on him, and I love that you have pictures and his little footprints to remind you of that time you were able to spend with him. I pray that each day gets a little easier as you are mourning the loss of your sweet boy.

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  3. Your blog has always been such an uplifting place to come even in your times of adversity. I know there are no words to help but just know that your readers are praying for your family.

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  4. Argh, those tiny footprints- heartbreaking :( Ditto to everyone above... while I hate that you are experiencing this, I also know that God has used your past hurts and disappointments to prepare you for this, and I am constantly encouraged and challenged by your unwavering faith (even when you feel like you don't have it together in the least)! Still praying, sweet friend!

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  5. I follow your blog daily, but have never commented. You are so strong - I admire your strength and faith and how open and true you are with your life. You are an incredible woman! I have tears in my eyes and will be praying for you and your beautiful family. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

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  6. Oh Brittnie, this is just so heartbreaking and yet somehow beautiful. I am so thankful you were able to spend that time with him- I can't imagine how difficult that must have been. You are still constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

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  7. I know it's hard to understand gods plan, I struggle too. Will be praying daily for you and your sweet family.

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  8. just cried reading this. brittnie you are so strong, and i am sending hugs and prayers.

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  9. Brittnie, I just read your last two posts, and feel even more grateful that I've been blessed by our "virtual" friendship. Your faith is beautiful and strengthening. I think you are amazing. We will be praying for you and your sweet family.

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  10. Sweet friend, reading your beautiful words brought tears to my eyes, then reading the sweet comments brought more tears! I am continually amazed by your beauty, grace & faith even during the most difficult of days. I am so thankful to be able to call you a friend! You are showing so much faith, not only to me, but to so many others through your sweet spirit, actions & words. Love you & still praying!

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  11. Chance Michael...I can't believe your sweet son is now blissfully playing with my little Gideon. Never had I ever imagined someone close to me going through such a similar pain for its a pain to wish on no one. But to be honest, there is blessing that will come. I know it well. I pray that your blessing in all of this would come sooner rather than later, but be confident my sweet sister...it will come. Much love an prayer, Maria

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