Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Guinea pig

Apparently I am the guinea pig at my fertility clinic. Yes you read that right. Any time the nurses are training someone new they always choose my appointment as the training opportunity. Maybe they think I am just nice and won't get annoyed but seriously. So today I am sitting in the room waiting for my ultrasound and in walks two nurses (um red flag!) and nurse #1 (my usual nurse) says "Hi Ms. Britt. You are our guinea pig today!" Oh great. Here we go again. Apparently nurse #2 (new girl) is learning how to use the ultrasound machine. I will spare you the details but just imagine having to lay there (freezing b/c you are half dressed) while they chat back and forth about how to use the wand (it is already in use if you get my drift) and how to get the best image on the screen. The fun continues as it takes 5 minutes to find my uterus, 5 more minutes to find my right ovary and 5 more minutes to find my left ovary. Oh and then she has to measure my uterine lining. Another 5 minutes. And of all days their restrooms are out of order so my bladder is beyond full. The wand action is not helping the bladder situation. Awesome. Once nurse #2 captures all images needed for the doctor she says cheerfully "All done!" as if it took two seconds. 

I then ask about a new medication I will be starting soon & how exactly it works. Nurse #1 says "Oh I can show you right now." Sounds like a plan to me. She then tells me to me stand up, turn around (remember I am still 1/2 dressed) and proceeds to draw two large circles on my booty with black sharpie showing exactly where I will administer the medication. Double awesome. As the guinea pig I was fully expecting her to ask me to model her drawings for other patients so that they too can benefit from this visual reference point. But alas she did not. So eventually I get dressed with my new & improved bulls eye booty, sprint to the nearest working restroom and eventually make my way to work for the day. Never a dull moment for this guinea pig...never a dull moment. 

This is me. 


  1. Ha, too funny- it must be because you're the ideal patient :)

  2. Girl!! You are so sweet to let them do that! Praying for you & this new treatment! Love ya!

  3. You crack me up! Laughing out loud right now! I'm just hoping it was not the internal wand :)
    Continuing to pray for you & this process!

  4. Oh yes Jamie it was the internal wand. Every time. :)

  5. That was so funny! And...yes...I am sure they use you because you are indeed very nice!



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