I ask the Lord to help steady my gaze but then the second my two feet step outside my walls my eyes start moving rapid-pace, everywhere but up.
Comparing my life to my peers, family members, or even complete strangers.
Comparing my road to the roads of others.
Comparing the hurt I've felt to the seemingly blissful blessings of others.
It's like a massive game of tug-of-war and I must be in constant communication with Jesus to keep me pulling in the winning direction.
Even still, when hardships and sadness creep in, it's much harder to keep my eyes in check.
Our oldest daughter should be starting Kindergarten in the fall, yet this is not her reality. So my eyes bounce from family to family whose child, the same age, is functioning appropriately and will be soon embarking on this adventure.
April will mark two years since I birthed and buried a son and while I fully believe in God's promises and faithfulness to my family, sadness still hits my heart. So my eyes bounce from family to family whose child is living here on Earth first, not the other way around.
And then God gently reminds me the secret to it all. I must remember to fix my eyes to focus my heart.
Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying out the blues?
Fix my eyes on God -
soon I'll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face. He's my God.
When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you.
Psalm 42:5-6, The Message
When my eyes are steady, I worship well.
When my eyes are steady, I recall, more easily, all the ways God has blessed me and my people.
When my eyes are steady, joy and hope abounds and my attitude transforms.
When my eyes are steady, I remember that even though others might appear to have an easier journey, God is continually working for my best, and I should never take that lightly.
When my eyes are steady and thus my heart focused, I see the most beautiful blooms that I would otherwise miss all-together.
|Chance's tree, in full bloom. Love this view out our back window.|