I am so excited for todays post! A little bit of background info. . .
When I was struggling with my eating disorder one smart decision (ok the
only smart decision, besides recovery) I made was to research and read blogs of other women who had been, at some time or another, in my shoes. I wanted to hear from women who had experienced, firsthand, what it was like to struggle with anorexia and who truly understood the dynamics of the illness and how it has the ability to overtake any and every area of life.
Although I don't remember when exactly, at some point I stumbled across the blogger
Sarah who writes over at
Bearing Eating Being. I remember reading her posts and thinking "wow, this girl DID IT." She overcame what (at that present time) felt like hell on earth. What struck me even more? She incorporated GOD, JESUS and the HOLY SPIRIT into recovery and into her story. Praise God she was willing to write and share with random blog stalkers (me) because little did she know she was having a HUGE impact.
Fast forward a few years. . . I am totally stoked that
Sarah has agreed to a little guest post here on A Joy Renewed. I hope you find her story as touching and inspiring as I did and still do!
___________________________________________
Hey all! I’m Sarah and I was so excited that Brittnie asked me to share a little of my story with you. I’m currently writing this from my parents’ kitchen table in the midwest as snow falls outside--a far cry from Florida, where I’ve lived for the past 3.5 years.
Being home for the holidays is a good thing...but it hasn’t always been. In 2005, I spent my holidays wrestling with an eating disorder that my parents could see but I couldn’t. That year, I tiptoed around my house. I couldn’t sit still, I couldn’t get warm, I couldn’t feel the joy of Christmas. I remember passing out at Target as I did some last minute Christmas shopping with my siblings. I remember spending a few days in bed because I lacked the energy to get out of it. My mom brought me eggs and toast and I feebly protested, until I realized: my options were eating or dying.
That weekend was a turning point for me. As I lay in bed, I prayed intently that God would help me figure out whatever was wrong in my life and fix it. God seized that prayer and led me to medical help. When I finally accepted the diagnosis that was obvious to everyone around me, I cried out for help, for understanding, and strength, because I knew I couldn’t heal myself or get better on my own.
In return, He gave strength that reminded me of the manna sent to the Israelites: enough for the day. I wasn’t stockpiling strength somewhere for later and I lived my life vacillating between terror and calm, but He always gave me the calmness and strength that I needed to do the right thing when I needed to.
This reminded me that the strength I was experiencing was not my own and taught me to rely on Him. It also made me realize that recovery was going to be a process...and rightly so, because getting sick was a process.
A few painful months later, the Lord gave me Psalm 107. I connected so strongly with this passage that for over a year, it was my “about me” on Facebook because I felt there was nothing more to say. Here’s a sample: (really, you should just read the whole thing--it’s amazing!)
“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.
Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story—
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south...
...Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness,
prisoners suffering in iron chains,
because they rebelled against God’s commands
and despised the plans of the Most High...
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness,
and broke away their chains.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
for he breaks down gates of bronze
and cuts through bars of iron.
Some became fools through their rebellious ways
and suffered affliction because of their iniquities.
They loathed all food
and drew near the gates of death.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
He sent out his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for mankind.
Let them sacrifice thank offerings
and tell of his works with songs of joy...”
This Psalm gave me hope: I had already called out to the Lord. Now I could trust Him to be faithful to heal me, to break away my chains, to bring me out of darkness, to save me from my distress, to rescue me from the grave, to send forth His word to me, to gather me, to redeem me.
Six years and a TON of work later, I’m pleased to report that I am healthier and happier than I ever was before. Having an eating disorder could have been the end of my life. Instead, our Lord “cut through those bars of iron” and saved me.
Psalm 107 ends with these words: “Let the one who is wise heed these things and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord.”
I invite you to do the same.
_________________________________________
THANK YOU, Sarah!
I love that she literally is a living testimony of Psalm 107. And is some ways... aren't we all? I think we all have rebelled against the Lord only to eventually cry out to Him from our distress, from the bottom of our pit. Don't we all have some "bar of iron" that we need the Lord to save us from and to forever cut us free?
Questions: Do you have a scripture or set of verses that sum up an especially hard time in your life? Has God responded to your distress call by giving you a particular scripture passage of hope? Please do share in the comments section!
