Sleep Training Camille, Ferber style

Some of you might remember that we followed the Ferber method when we sleep trained Clara (for the second time) at 6 months of age. We decided to follow the same method for Camille at 10 weeks of age. There are many things we like about this method over just the full blown CIO extinction method (which is what we did with Clara at 4 months, and was somewhat successful but not totally.) I won't go into a full summary of Ferber's theory (all of that is explained in the above link or you can check out his book that explains it in full detail), but I did want to track Camille's progress over the course of a few days, just like I did with Clara, and I felt like the blog is the easiest place to do that.

This sleep journal so to speak is more for us as parents, so please, I don't blame you for just marking this one as "read" on your blog reader. This is an extremely long and detailed post. Type A momma in full force. Spoiler alert: She did amazing!

Why did we feel now is the time? Two main reasons.

1. We know she can sleep through the night (She sleeps consistently a total of 10ish hours at night, with one feeding, as long as she is sleeping on us/with us. If we ever tried and put her down in the middle of the night, she would wake up immediately. It was time for her to sleep in her bed at bedtime.

2. We know she can take long, solid, restorative naps (as long as someone is holding her for the duration of said nap). If we ever tried to put her down once asleep, she woke up immediately. Insert lots of short, choppy naps, lots of key brain development not happening (b/c she was never getting a solid chunk of day time sleep), and lots of frustration on our end. It was time for her to sleep in her bed for naps (when we are able to be home at least).

So. . . like last time, I started each day at bedtime, and ended at the last nap of the next day. I also made sure to stick to her optimal wake time, which at ten weeks old is about 80-90 minutes from wake to next sleep. Sticking as closely to this as possible helps minimize her becoming overtired (overtired baby = greater chance of fussing/crying at sleep times). I also tried not to go more than 3.5 hours between her feeds, as this helps her get in enough calories during day, so she won't need as many during the night. We decided to start on a Thursday night at bedtime as Fridays are our only days to be at home (no therapy for Clara) and we had no weekend plans so sticking around the house for Camille's naps would be easy (technically Brandon traveled to Waco for a woodworking class, but I would be able to stick around the house easily). Monday was also a free day b/c Clara's therapy schedule is switching up so we had this past Monday off, thus, we would have four solid days at home to do this thing (and yes, the pediatrician approved our plan).

**Disclaimer: I know there are a million different infant rearing methods out there. With different methods  come different (and strong!!) opinions. Our decision to sleep train Clara is important to us, and what works for us, but in no way does that mean I am judging your method should it look vastly different from what I describe below. Everyone makes decisions for what works best for THEIR family. The Mommy Wars has spiraled out of control, and at the end of the day, is just so unnecessary. We are different people, different families, and thus we make different parenting decisions. That said, I am not going to fill this post with a million little disclaimers as I journal our sleep training choice in detail. Can we just let go of all the judgement? I won't judge you. You won't judge me. Deal?**

 . . . . . . 

Day 1: Thursday 3/27/14 - Friday 3/28/14
{5 min (1st wait); 10 min (2nd wait); 15 min (3rd wait); 15 min (subsequent waits)}

9pm - Bedtime. Went in at 5 min mark, 10 min mark, 15 min mark and then she fell asleep! Only 30 minutes of crying. She was out by 9:30pm. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Brandon and I just kind of look at each other like. . . "Ummmmmm, now what?"

9:55pm - Woke crying. Went in at 5 min mark. Did not have to go back in again!

2:00am - Woke to eat. Went in to feed her, changed diaper, re-swaddled and put her back in bed. Y'all, she did not cry one little bit. I watched her on the monitor just look and look and look around. Eventually she just closed her eyes and went to sleep! I looked at the monitor several times and she was rocking a huge smile in her sleep. I like to think this was Gods way of giving me peace.

6:30am - Woke for the day! Success! (6:30am feed)

7:45am - Put down for first nap. SHE DID NOT CRY. NOT EVEN A WHIMPER.

9:45am - Had to wake her up from this nap to eat. (9:45am feed) She slept two hours, on her own, no one holding her, without waking up/crying!

11am - Put down for second nap. Had to go in at 5 min mark, but after that she quieted down and didn't make a peep. Was asleep by 11:15am.

1:15pm - Had to wake her from this nap to eat (1:30pm feed). Another solid nap! No crying. Fell asleep a little before 3pm.

5:00pm - Had to wake her from this nap to eat (5:00pm feed). Honestly, cannot believe how well she is sleeping ON HER OWN, IN HER OWN BED.

6:30pm - Put down for fourth nap. Had to go in at 5 min mark. Fell asleep soon after I left room.

7:00pm - Woke crying. Went in at the 5 and 10 minute mark. She wasn't calming down, so I went ahead and got her up since this last nap is usually pretty short and just helps her make it to bedtime. (8:00pm feed)

Day 2: Friday 3/28/14 - Saturday 3/29/14
{10 min; 15 min; 20 min; 20 min (subsequent waits)}

8:30pm - Bedtime. She went right to sleep. Not a sound.

2:00am - Woke to eat. Put her down after eating, burping, changing diaper, re-swaddling, etc and she fussed for maybe three minutes then went right to sleep. Never had to go in.

6:30am - Woke for the day. (6:30am feed). Pretty much in shock that the night went so well.

7:40am - Put down for first nap. Zero fussing/crying. Put herself right to sleep.

9:45am - Had to wake her from this nap to eat. (10:00am feed)

11:00am - Put down for second nap. No crying. She woke up after about 30-40 minutes and started crying. I went in at the 10 minute mark and when we were well into the second check (15 minute mark) I just called the nap over and got her up because she was sucking her fists like she was hungry.
(Tried to feed at 12 and again at 12:30pm but she wouldn't eat much, weird . . the next little bit of the day is quite fuzzy.)

1:00pm - Put down for third nap. She fussed, but put herself to sleep before the ten min mark was up. She woke and started crying around 1:45pm. Went in several times (again, this is fuzzy) and eventually got her up around 2:30pm as it was apparent her nap was well over. (3:00pm feed). This is the point in the day where I was getting confused on the timing of things and when exactly her next nap should start. I decide to just wing it and call 4pm nap nap-time. :)

4:00pm - Put down for fourth nap. Went right to sleep. Woke at 4:40 crying. Got her up and just figured she would have an extra nap or two.

6:00pm - Put down for a fifth nap. Went right to sleep.  (Fed at 5:45pm)

8:00pm - Had to wake from this nap to maintain a somewhat consistent bedtime. (8:30pm feed) Thankful she got in at least one more solid nap for the day.

Day 3: Saturday 3/29/14 - Sunday 3/30/14
{15 min; 20 min; 25 min; 25 min (subsequent waits)}

9:15pm - Bedtime. Put herself right to sleep. Not a peep. 

4:15am - Woke to eat. Made it 7 hours without waking! Fed her and she was back in bed by 4:30am. She never starting fussing, just sort of wiggled around for a while and eventually fell asleep by 5am.

8:00am - Woke her up to start our day! There has never been a day where I have had to wake her up in the morning, until this morning. Amazing night of sleep for this girl! About 10 total hours. (8:00am feed)

9:20am - Put down for first nap. Not a peep. 

11:15am - Woke from nap on her own. (11:30 feed)

12:40pm- Put down for second nap. Went right to sleep without a sound. 

3:00pm - Had to wake from this nap. (3:00pm feed)

4:30pm - Put down for third nap. Went right to sleep. Not a sound. 

6:00pm - Woke on her own. (6:00pm feed)

7:15pm - She was acting tired so we attempted to put down for fourth nap. Had to go in several times. After an hour she was still crying so we called the nap over and got her up. (8:30 feed)

Day 4: Sunday 3/30/14 - Monday 3/31/14
{20 min; 25 min; 30 min; 30 min (subsequent waits)}
8:45pm - Bedtime. Was calm and put herself right to sleep.

2:00am - Woke to eat. Fed her and put back in bed around 2:30pm and she looked around for a while but never fussed. Put herself to sleep soon after. 

7:00am - Woke for the day (7:00am feed)

8:15am - Put down for first nap. Not a sound from her room. :)

10:30am - Had to wake from this nap to eat. (10:30am feed)

12:00pm - Put down for second nap. Went don't without a peep.

2:00pm - Had to wake from this nap to eat. (2:00pm feed)

3:30pm - Put down for third nap. Straight to sleep without a sound.

5pm - Had to wake her from this nap to eat/keep consistent bedtime. (5:00pm feed)

8:30pm - Bedtime. Put herself to sleep like a champ. So thankful we had such a successful day!!

. . . . . . 

And with that, I think we are calling this sleep training thing over and done!! If you made it this far and actually read this post in its entirely, then you can probably agree that Camille ROCKED IT. We are amazed at how easy it was this time around. If you've been reading for a while, or know me in real life, you know this was not the case for sweet Clara. Of course we don't expect perfection from here on out and if we have some regression here and there, which is expected, we can revisit if necessary. We joked that God had major compassion on us by basically made this training, not like a training at all. :)

How are we all feeling? Amazing. Camille is much happier during the day (seriously, her demeanor during the day has done a 180) b/c she is actually getting some solid naps & is sleeping more soundly. Mommy does not feel like a complete crazy person & so looks forward to playtime & snuggles when Camille is awake (please don't read this the wrong way), and daddy appreciates having not such a crazy wife & also sleeping more soundly at night himself. Now, I know everyday won't go as well as the above, and starting tomorrow our crazy schedule resumes, thus we won't be able to hang around the house to make sure naps are timed just perfectly. But thats ok. The crazy schedule might just feel a little less crazy now that our time at home is well. . . a little less crazy. Thanks again, Ferber. And thanks Camille for a job well done! We love you more than you know! 

Sleep Training Clara, Ferber style, Day 6-7

If you haven't been reading over the last few days, the links below will bring you up to speed on our sleep training experience this time around. . .

Day 1
Day 2
Days 3-5

Day 6 {30 min; 35 min; 40 min; 40 min (subsequent waits)}

8pm - Bedtime - She was so tired at bedtime that she was falling asleep as she was taking her bottle. Laid her down and she was out cold. Then, she woke up all. night. long. I think she woke at least six times during the night. The third time I assumed she was actually hungry so I went in and gave her a bottle. She took it all quickly and then fell asleep again. Only to wake up three more times. The night was such a blur, I don't really remember all the details, but she was able to put herself to sleep several times before I had to go in her room, so that was good! I know I can't expect perfection every night. It's all about baby steps!

7am - woke her for the day.

8:45am - Nap - No crying or fussing at all. Put herself right to sleep.

1:00pm - Nap - No crying or fussing. This nap was super short. (I haven't really been focusing on sleep duration for naps this time, but it seems that Clara's afternoon nap, which before could easily have been 2-3 hours, is now 1 hour tops, and usually more like 30- 45 minutes. Did anyone else experience this at around 6 months?)

4:20pm - Nap - Earlier than normal due to her super short afternoon nap. No crying or fussing.

Day 7 – {35 min; 40 min; 45 min; 45 min (subsequent waits)}

8pm - Bedtime - went down with ease as she was really sleepy. She woke at 8:40pm and that is when the craziness began. She cried for nearly 2.5 - 3 hours. I think she finally fell asleep, for good, again around 11:30pm. We went in several times and at one point gave her a bottle and the Hyland's homeopathic teething tablets. She also got a diaper change. I'm really not sure why she was so worked up. Brandon suspects it was maybe a little reflux, since her cry was a little different. More like she was uncomfortable and not just "I want to be awake, pay attention to me." Every time we went in the room you could tell she was SO tired, like she wanted to be asleep, another reason we suspect she might have been uncomfortable. Once she finally gave up at 11:30pm she slept, solid, until morning, waking at 6:30am.

8am - Nap - No crying at all!

1pm - Nap - No crying at all! 

5:30 - Nap - Fell asleep in car on our way home from an errand (bad timing on my part) so I transferred her to her bed when we got home and she stayed asleep until I woke her a little bit later.

*All three naps today were awesome - long and thus some good consolidated sleep. I had to wake her from each nap today!*

8pm - Bedtime - She cried for ten minutes when I left her room, and then woke up about two hours into bed and cried for a little while, but not long enough where either of us had to go in to console. She stirred some in her sleep, but for the most part, slept solid until 6:30am. *edited to add - Brandon just informed me that yes, she did cry long enough that warranted a check. He handled it as I was apparently passed out in bed. Oops.*

So there you go. Seven days of sleep training, again. We are very pleased with how she responded to the Ferber method and would recommend this style to any parents out there that are ready to help their kid sort out their sleep habits. While I was hesitant at first to try Ferber's approach (for several reasons of which I will address later), I will admit that this style makes me feel more comfortable as going in every so often to check on your baby only reassures you that, despite some tears, they are in fact ok. And if they are not, then you can deal with the issue right then and there.

I'm sure this sleep documentation bored some of you to tears and thus you are probably not even reading todays post. Like I said, I really wanted to have this all documented for our own memory. For those of you that followed along, thank you! I might write a reflections post here soon, comparing the two methods we have tried and things we learned along the way, or tips for other parents out there that are considering sleep training of some kind. We will see...

Our sweet Clara has finally, and hopefully once and for all, sorted out her nights and days. This is not to say some nights won't be rough or that we will never see a regression in her sleep; we know that parenting, and all the issues that come with it, are rather fluid, always changing so to speak. We are fully prepared for set backs here and there. But, I think she has this sleep thing figured out!! Which makes for a happy baby, and a very happy momma.  

Sleep training Clara, Ferber Style, Days 3-5

Recap of Day 1
Recap of Day 2

Which brings us to Day 3. . .

Day 3: {15 min; 20 min; 25 min; 25 min (subsequent waits)}

8:15pm - bedtime - she fussed for a few seconds but quieted down and went right to sleep. I never had to go in. Not once.

5am - she woke but started playing quietly in her bed. She never really fussed or cried. I looked at the monitor about 5:45am and she had put herself back to sleep w/ not even a whimper.

6am- she's up again and rather fussy. Decided to start our day. Overall.... a VERY VERY good night!

8am - Nap - No crying or fussing.

1:15pm - Nap - No crying or fussing.

5:15pm - Nap - Again, went down easily. No crying or fussing.

Day 4: {20 min; 25 min; 30 min; 30 min (subsequent waits)}

8pm - bedtime - Had to go in 1x to pat her back. After that she fell asleep. She woke at 10pm crying. We started the progressive waiting and when we hit the 1.5 hour mark, and she was still crying, we decide to try changing her diaper and giving a bottle, along with some homeopathic teething tablets (we could see on the monitor that she was starting to rub her hands along her gums). She took about 1/2 the bottle and seemed to settle after we gave the tablets. Laid her back down and she didn't make another peep. So by 12:15am she was back asleep.

7am - still asleep and had to wake her to establish wake time.

8:40am - Nap - No crying or fussing.

1pm - Nap - Played in her crib until 1:20pm, then cried for a while so I went in at the 20 min mark to pat her back. I left the room and she was asleep by 1:40pm. (Maybe I overestimated her tiredness this nap and should have put her down a little bit later than usual? She woke fairly quick from this nap too.)

4:45pm - Nap - No crying or fussing.

Day 5: {25 min; 30 min; 35 min; 35 min (subsequent waits)}

8pm - bedtime - No crying at all. Went right to sleep.

2:30am - woke and cried but never had to go in. Put herself to sleep before the 25 min mark.

3:30am - woke and cried but never had to go in. Again, put herself to sleep before the 25 min mark.

5:00am - woke and cried but was back asleep before the 25 min mark (only 10ish min of crying).

7:00am - still asleep so I woke her for the day.

8:40am - Nap - went down super easy, no crying.

1:15pm - Nap - cried for 15 minutes but fell asleep by 1:30pm, so never hit the 25 min mark.

5pm - Nap - Went down without a peep. She was extra tired since she only slept for 30 minutes during her previous nap.

Until next time. . .

(Side note - Here's a great post from Inspired To Action talking about living today on purpose (and living free of Mommy Guilt). Go read it!)

Sleep training Clara, Ferber style, Day 2

We are Ferberizing around here! Day 1 was a success in my book.

Here's how Day 2 went down...

Day 2: {10 min; 15 min; 20 min; 20 min (subsequent waits)}

8pm - bedtime - We did not have to go in at all! That girl put herself to sleep. :) She woke at 10pm and fussed for a second but fell back asleep before we hit the 10 min mark!

5am - woke up but was content just playing in her bed for an hour. She wasn't fussing or crying just kicking her legs and arms having a grand ol time. I checked the monitor about 6am and she had put herself back to sleep!

6:30am - she woke again and was quite fussy and so our day began (since I would have woken her up at 7am anyways).

Y'all ... do you realize that we did not have to go in her room at all during the night? 

I AM SERIOUSLY SO PROUD! 

8:00am - Nap - she was already acting quite tired so I plopped her in bed and she didn't make a peep. Looked around a few times and then laid her head down and went to sleep. Never had to go in!

1pm - Nap - Had to go in 1x at the 10 min mark. That did the trick and she was able to put herself to sleep after Brandon left the room. She slept two hours solid!

5:30pm - Nap - She laid in her bed for a while, then got fussy. Had to go in 1x and she eventually fell asleep about 6:15pm. Woke her up at 6:45pm, so it was a quick power nap.

Days 3-5 coming tomorrow. . . TBC...

Sleep training Clara, Ferber style, Day 1

If you've been reading for a while you know that Clara's sleep has been crazy for a long time now. A really long time now. Remember when we tried sleep training at 4 mo and then traveled for a solid month and thus any progress went right out the window and she ended up back in our bed every single night? (yes - total run on sentence) Yeah. . . that was really fun.

Anyways, I gave a little sleep update in her 6 mo post. While I came to terms with her sleeping in our bed (has never been my first choice) and was ok with it, it got to the point where she wasn't even sleeping soundly there so we said "enough is enough." Clara only knew how to fall asleep with us, either holding her and/or walking the halls with her, and thus any time she had a spontaneous awakening during the night (which is totally normal for all babies, kids and adults) she was not able to put herself to sleep unless we got up w/ her and started pacing. So you can imagine what nights were like when she woke 4-5x, every single night.

We declared it time for sleep training round two.

Enter Ferber method.  Based on his book, Solve Your Childs Sleep Problems. 

So what is Ferber's approach?

In a nutshell, Ferber says you can teach your baby to soothe himself to sleep when he's physically and emotionally ready, usually sometime between 3 and 5 months of age.

He recommends following a warm, loving bedtime routine and then putting your baby in bed awake and leaving him (even if he cries) for gradually longer periods of time. Putting a child to bed awake, says Ferber, is crucial to successfully teaching him to go to sleep on his own.

Parents are instructed to pat and comfort their baby after each predetermined period of time, but not to pick up or feed their baby. This routine is called "progressive waiting."

The suggested waiting time, which Ferber charts in his book, is based on how comfortable you are with the technique, how many days you've been using it, and how many times you've already checked on your child that night.

After a few days to a week of gradually increasing the waiting time, the theory goes, most babies learn to fall asleep on their own, having discovered that crying earns nothing more than a brief check from you.
(Source)

Ferber never says you should simply leave your baby in his crib and shut the door behind you. His progressive waiting approach allows you to gradually limit the time you spend in your child's room while providing regular comfort and reassurance – as well as reassuring yourself that he's okay.
(Source)

Here's the suggested wait times listed in the book although Ferber notes that any schedule will work as long as times increase progressively each day. Also, if your child wakes during the night you are to start again at the minimum wait time for that day and work your way up to the maximum, and continue at the maximum until your child falls asleep again. 

Day 1 - 5 min (1st wait); 10 min (2nd wait); 15 min (3rd wait); 15 min (subsequent waits)

Day 2 – 10 min; 15 min; 20 min; 20 min (subsequent waits)

Day 3 – 15 min; 20 min; 25 min; 25 min (subsequent waits)

Day 4 – 20 min; 25 min; 30 min; 30 min (subsequent waits)

Day 5 – 25 min; 30 min; 35 min; 35 min (subsequent waits)

Day 6 – 30 min; 35 min; 40 min; 40 min (subsequent waits)

Day 7 – 35 min; 40 min; 45 min; 45 min (subsequent waits)

We decided to start on Friday night 11/9/12. Before deciding on this date we made certain that we would be NOT be leaving town any time soon and thus we could remain consistent. Training will last until Friday 11/16 as I wanted to give it our all, for a solid week. I also had to limit my social calendar during this week, so that I could make sure we were home for naps. Let's be honest. . . it wasn't that hard since I'm by nature, a complete homebody.

(Note: For sake of not having to repeat myself just know anytime I put her in her crib she was awake, thus the entire point of this training. Also, we are continuing to follow the HSHHC recommendation of not keeping your baby up during the day for more than 2 hours at a time, as this has proven to work really well for Clara. Sometimes she can last 2.5 or closer to 3 hours but I just have to watch her signs. Three hours is usually pushing it.)

Also, I am documenting the start of each day as 8pm, Clara's bedtime, since we started the training Friday at bedtime. So each "day" runs from bedtime - last nap of the next day. 

Day 1: {5 min (1st wait); 10 min (2nd wait); 15 min (3rd wait); 15 min (subsequent waits)}

8pm - Bedtime - She went down easily and then woke at 9:30pm crying. Had to go in a total of 5x before she fell asleep, which equaled about one hour of crying. Not bad! I honestly expected a lot more!

2am - Woke again. Went in at the 5 min mark. Left the room after a few minutes as Ferber instructs. She fell asleep on her own before we had to go in at the 10 min mark. 

5am - Woke again yet was able to soothe herself before the 5 min was up and thus we didn't have to go in at all!

6:30am - Woke for the day!! I'll take it!

8:30am - Nap - she fell asleep ON HER OWN. Had to go in 1x as she woke spontaneously, but after a few minutes of patting her back, and then leaving the room, she was able to self soothe and fall asleep quickly. 

1pm - Nap - She played in her bed for a while (until about 1:30pm) but never fussed/cried and was able to fall asleep on her own!

5:15pm - Nap - Fell asleep on her own & never had to go in her room!

TBC. . .