Believing In The Miracle . . . Again

On September 27, 2018, Clara said her first word. 

I wasn't present. Brandon wasn't present. Only a teacher. I admitted this on social media, but because my daughter has never come close to uttering a "mama," or "dada," I was skeptical. Yet, I finally decided to believe in the miracle, regardless of the odds, and continue to pray with full-confidence that it would happen again.

So much joy.

Nearly severn months later, on April 17, 2019, it happened again.

Clara said her second word!

Clara. Said. Her. Second. Word.

Was I present? No. Was Brandon present? No. Was any other family member present? No. Only two teachers who swear that it happened. Once again I am at the crossroads. I am faced with the choice to either believe, despite my eyes not seeing and my ears not hearing, or doubt.

I believe!

Love this girl and her morning wake-up hair!

On Wednesday, April 17, Clara's class took a field trip to a local park. This is the perfect idea for a field trip for children with different abilities, as it is not an overwhelming environment and all the children can practice whatever social and motor skills need attention.

I was attending the field trip and arrived 15 minutes early. I sat there, listening to my audiobook, waiting and watching for the school vans. I saw the van pull up, but decided to give them a few minutes to unload before I joined. #MISTAKE

Once I saw Clara get out of the van, I began walking across the parking lot. As I got closer I saw another classmate excitedly hugging Clara and NOT letting go. He had the biggest smile and was cheering for her. I walked up just as the aide was prying the child's arms away from Clara's middle.

"She just said no," Christine, an aide, told me.

I didn't even flinch because her comment didn't register in my brain.

"She just said no," Christine said again.

"Yeah, Clara just got really mad and yelled NOOOOOO!," Aaron, her lead therapist, told me.

I about dropped to the floor.

"CLARA?!" I asked.

"Yes," they both replied.

Repeat the same question and answer 354x.

So much love for this girl. I'm the lucky one!!

They explained that after getting out of the van, Clara was wanting Aaron to hold her hand (omgosh she adores Aaron), but Christine took her hand instead (because she was the aide assigned to Clara during the field trip). Clara kept fussing while trying to get to Aaron, while Christine blocked and tried to redirect. Clara got ticked and when Christine tried to redirect again, Clara yelled out, "NOOOOOOOO!" 

Both Aaron and Christine said she yelled it, in a squeaky little voice, as clear as day. 

Guys. I about died. 

I was there and walked up 20 seconds too late!!! I almost heard my daughter's second word.

Picture taken a few minutes after the miracle. :)

But, I'm refusing to beat myself up over this and once again, BELIEVE that it happened. I will continue to pray, in bold faith, just I have been, that it will happen again. And again. And again. One word at a time.

Guys, we never know when our miracle, our breakthrough, will happen. Things might look dim from our humanly eyes, but regardless, this is such a reminder to keep taking our desires to the Lord. We have prayed, continually for years, that Clara would speak with her mouth. In no way did I expect God to answer this prayer this past Wednesday. Don't give up, friends! Your miracle could be right around the corner and you don't even know it.

Thank you for believing in the miracle, too, rejoicing in answered prayer, and petitioning the Father on our behalf that Clara will speak! 

Two words down, Clara girl.

Many more to come!

Fresh haircut! 

Clara's first word - September 27, 2018 - "Hi"

Clara's second word - April 17, 2019 - "NOOOO!" :)

Clara's third word - Stay tuned!

Believing In The Miracle

"Did you hear what Clara did last Thursday at morning drop-off?

"No," I reply. "What happened?"

"The staff reported that after prompting Clara with the hello song that we typically sing in circle time, she said 'hi.'"

I stood there for a second, stunned. Shocked. And if I am being honest, a bit skeptical. Yet even with the doubt in my mind the tears started forming in my eyes.

"You mean with her IPad?"

"No, with her actual mouth."

"It wasn't just a vocalization? Like 'mmmmm' or another noise that was offered on cue?"

"No, we heard her say 'hi' with her actual mouth."

In that moment the floodgates opened. Her teachers then proceeded to recount the story.

That particular morning Clara walked into the building, extraordinarily happy. She appeared overly eager to being the day. Due to her joy-filled spirit and light-hearted demeanor the aide sang the hello song and prompted Clara to reply, just as they have done a million times before over the last three-and-a-half years.

Hello, hello, hello
It's time to say hello
Clara! Clara!
Can you say "hi?"

It was then that the aide reported Clara said "hi" in response. Another aide in close proximity claims she heard Clara's first word as well. Both said if you weren't fully focused on Clara, you would have missed it.

Her lead teacher (the BCBA) explained that he went back that day and reviewed the video footage to see if he could capture the moment. Unfortunately, based on where they were standing when they entered the building, nothing was caught on tape.

I have no evidence for my eyes, just the word of two school employees.

Eventually I was able to dry my tears, yet on the drive home doubt crept in, as did all the other explanations for what most likely happened that day.

Surely another student was in close proximity and heard the song and replied on cue. Surely it was not as clear of a "hi" as they are reporting, and surely it was more of a noise vocalization. Surely my child did not speak her first word at school! She has never once said "mama," "dada," or anything else that resembles infant language, so surely she didn't bust out with a "hi."

After about eight hours of thinking, rehashing, and uncertainty, I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me.

You have spent the past five years praying for this very gift and now someone tells you of the miracle and you are choosing to dismiss it? 

Are you really going to sit here and doubt, just because you didn't see it with your own eyes or hear it with your own ears? 

You say you believe in a God of miracles and now you're rejecting it just because it seems far-fetched? Aren't most miracles just like that, far-fetched scenarios that become reality?

Will you choose to trust in who I say I am and believe in the miracle?

It's hard for me to admit that trust and belief wasn't my first response, that I had to consciously fight the doubt out of my heart.

But now?

I'm choosing to believe in the miracle.

I'm choosing to trust and tell the world that our prayer was answered on September 27, 2018.

I'm praising God for the gift of Clara's speech and praying expectantly with every ounce of me that it will happen again.

That one day, my baby girl will say her second word, then a third, then a fourth, and then many more after that. That one day, the miracle will happen again and I will hear it with my own ears.

And if it doesn't?

Well, I'm still choosing to believe that the prayer was answered and a dream fulfilled, even if fulfilled a bit differently that I expected or desired.

"Faith means that we believe before we see.  Yes, there is evidence that undergirds our faith but at the end of the day, faith means that we believe before we see." - Ronnie Norman, Senior Minister at First Colony Church of Christ

What miracle are you choosing to believe in, despite the odds? What area do you need zoom in your focus so you don't miss the blessing of an answered prayer?