Believing In The Miracle . . . Again

On September 27, 2018, Clara said her first word. 

I wasn't present. Brandon wasn't present. Only a teacher. I admitted this on social media, but because my daughter has never come close to uttering a "mama," or "dada," I was skeptical. Yet, I finally decided to believe in the miracle, regardless of the odds, and continue to pray with full-confidence that it would happen again.

So much joy.

Nearly severn months later, on April 17, 2019, it happened again.

Clara said her second word!

Clara. Said. Her. Second. Word.

Was I present? No. Was Brandon present? No. Was any other family member present? No. Only two teachers who swear that it happened. Once again I am at the crossroads. I am faced with the choice to either believe, despite my eyes not seeing and my ears not hearing, or doubt.

I believe!

Love this girl and her morning wake-up hair!

On Wednesday, April 17, Clara's class took a field trip to a local park. This is the perfect idea for a field trip for children with different abilities, as it is not an overwhelming environment and all the children can practice whatever social and motor skills need attention.

I was attending the field trip and arrived 15 minutes early. I sat there, listening to my audiobook, waiting and watching for the school vans. I saw the van pull up, but decided to give them a few minutes to unload before I joined. #MISTAKE

Once I saw Clara get out of the van, I began walking across the parking lot. As I got closer I saw another classmate excitedly hugging Clara and NOT letting go. He had the biggest smile and was cheering for her. I walked up just as the aide was prying the child's arms away from Clara's middle.

"She just said no," Christine, an aide, told me.

I didn't even flinch because her comment didn't register in my brain.

"She just said no," Christine said again.

"Yeah, Clara just got really mad and yelled NOOOOOO!," Aaron, her lead therapist, told me.

I about dropped to the floor.

"CLARA?!" I asked.

"Yes," they both replied.

Repeat the same question and answer 354x.

So much love for this girl. I'm the lucky one!!

They explained that after getting out of the van, Clara was wanting Aaron to hold her hand (omgosh she adores Aaron), but Christine took her hand instead (because she was the aide assigned to Clara during the field trip). Clara kept fussing while trying to get to Aaron, while Christine blocked and tried to redirect. Clara got ticked and when Christine tried to redirect again, Clara yelled out, "NOOOOOOOO!" 

Both Aaron and Christine said she yelled it, in a squeaky little voice, as clear as day. 

Guys. I about died. 

I was there and walked up 20 seconds too late!!! I almost heard my daughter's second word.

Picture taken a few minutes after the miracle. :)

But, I'm refusing to beat myself up over this and once again, BELIEVE that it happened. I will continue to pray, in bold faith, just I have been, that it will happen again. And again. And again. One word at a time.

Guys, we never know when our miracle, our breakthrough, will happen. Things might look dim from our humanly eyes, but regardless, this is such a reminder to keep taking our desires to the Lord. We have prayed, continually for years, that Clara would speak with her mouth. In no way did I expect God to answer this prayer this past Wednesday. Don't give up, friends! Your miracle could be right around the corner and you don't even know it.

Thank you for believing in the miracle, too, rejoicing in answered prayer, and petitioning the Father on our behalf that Clara will speak! 

Two words down, Clara girl.

Many more to come!

Fresh haircut! 

Clara's first word - September 27, 2018 - "Hi"

Clara's second word - April 17, 2019 - "NOOOO!" :)

Clara's third word - Stay tuned!

Stop Growing Up, Camille! (Our last preschool spring show and open house)

Last week we attended Camille's last preschool spring show and open house. She was in heaven and had an entire row of loved ones cheering her on! Girlfriend loooooves any situation where she is up on a stage preforming, so she had been looking forward to this event for weeks. 

We knew one of us would end up in the hallway with Clara once the performance started, as this has been the pattern every year due to the noise level etc, but Camille was OVER THE MOON knowing Clara would be there. We considered getting a babysitter for Clara, but when it came down to it, we agreed Clara needed to "show up for her sister." After all, Camille has been a TROOPER when it comes to sitting through all of Clara's appointments over the years.

So yeah, I took Clara out two songs in (took one for the team, Brandon took her out last year) and didn't even see Camille's age group perform, but it's ok. Having Clara there meant the world to Camille. The world!

Camille's lead teacher, Ms. Katherine 

Camille's teacher, Ms. Sabour 

We will miss this little preschool tradition, but know there are new traditions on the horizon as she enters Kinder (!!!).

Dear Chance . . . Four Years in Heaven

Dear Chance, 

Four years ago today you were born into heaven. 

How has it been F-O-U-R years? 

While you aren't with us, we think of you all the time and have plenty of conversations about our "baby brother" who lives with Jesus. We are so grateful you are part of our legacy. 

We visited your grave a few weeks ago, and we hope to go visit again this weekend for our annual family picture. 

Your tree, that was gifted to us by friends on the day of your memorial service, is in full bloom. It's our absolute favorite. As you can see, your sister, Camille, added a pink birdhouse to sit alongside the original blue one because, "I need a birdhouse next to my brother's." 

We started celebrating last night, a day early, since today is packed with your sister's activities (speech and occupational therapy for Clara and a preschool program for Camille). Your daddy picked up balloons and treats on the way home last night for all of us to enjoy! While we usually bake cupcakes and top them with blue icing, Camille was convinced that this year you would want the soft, sugar cookies from the bakery section because "Every little kid LOVES those cookies." They didn't have blue iced, but with two sisters, we figured pink would work just fine. :)

Clara clearly enjoying the mini chocolate cakes . . . every time I turned around she was snatching one!

Also, do you see that Clara has light-up TOYS in both hands??
Yep, she pooped on the potty right before our celebration.
Maybe we need to celebrate you big every single day! :)

We woke up this morning to lots of messages from family and friends, and balloons that SPELLED YOUR NAME, complete with a boy-themed birthday gift on the porch from sweet friends. Another friend dropped off a bouquet of beautiful flowers. You are not forgotten and we are so thankful! 

I have been fielding questions from your sister, Camille, on the regular. Such as... What does my brother look like in heaven? Can he see us? Can he see his balloons? Do you think his favorite colors are blue and green? What does my brother do all day in heaven? When I get to heaven will I know how to find baby Chance? Will Jesus help me find my brother? Do you think his favorite animal is an elephant? I think so because all little boys like elephants. Can we eat mac and cheese for dinner? I’m sure baby Chance would want mac and cheese on his birthday because all kids love mac and cheese.

We love you, Chance. 

Four years closer!